Friday, October 11, 2013

American Horror Story: Coven 3.01 Review: When Witches Don't Fight, They Burn

Anyone that has yet to watch the season premiere of American Horror Story: Coven, titled ‘Bitchcraft’, then I suggest you do so now. As always, this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! That includes spoilers from previous seasons, as this is an anthology series. You’ve been warned.
Okay, I have to say I am sorely disappointed in this season premiere. Sure it was better than last season, but last season was terrible, and it in no way touched the series premiere in any way. After all the build up and excitement I felt going into this season, I honestly need to start lowering my expectations with this show. The problem is, the promos are always so great and so creepy, but the show almost always falls flat, and this episode definitely did.
The cinematography was TERRIBLE in this episode – so terrible, all caps was absolutely necessary to express just how bad it was. Honestly, what was the need for so many convex images? That just made it TERRIBLE! And, was it absolutely necessary to keep slanting the camera so I kept feeling like the actors should be sliding around? Whomever shot this episode needs to be fired and kept away from a camera for the rest of their lives, that’s how bad this episode was. It wasn’t artsy, it wasn’t fresh, it wasn’t modern, it was just plain bad. Stay away from the camera Mr. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, you’re a terrible director.
My other problem with this episode was how much time they focused on Kathy Bates’ character Madame Delphine Lalaurie. Five whole minutes at the beginning of the episode? That’s how you think this season should be introduced to viewers’ eyes? Two minutes, tops, that’s all that was needed, the rest was simply unnecessary.
Another thing, this is called American Horror Story with the subtitle Coven, there should be something scary to the episode. There’s only twelve episodes to a season, don’t go wasting your time away on needless issues. Where’s the great horror from the first season? I miss that. I miss crazy, psychotic Tate, and the Harmon’s. I miss Constance, and I desperately want to know what happened to the devil child. At least last season got tied up, what was necessary about leaving open storylines for the first season? But my point is, this season needs more horror, especially since last season wasn’t scary at all, other than how incredibly scarring it was. By scary, I mean ghosts, and bumps in the night. Stuff most people have nightmares about (I say most because I’m not one of those, I just like those scares). If I’d known there wasn’t going to be anything creepy about this episode, I would’ve left the light on so I could write my notes easier.
And one more thing, those opening titles they weren’t good. At least season two had a creepy title sequence, though not quite as good as the first seasons, but this season nothing. I kept thinking the hooded people were from the KKK, with the pointed hoods. But I suppose they’d rather be dead than caught wearing black. Still, that was distracting. You have more time than a regular full season series to get the ball rolling for twelve episodes of fun, be more creative.
Now in relation to characters. Emma Roberts did surprisingly well in her role as the fallen movie star witch. Both Gabourey Sidibe and Jamie Brewer were good in their respective roles. Jessica Lange wasn’t bad either, but nowhere near as great as she was as Constance. Now, Frances Conroy? I would’ve expected more from her. She felt like she was merely doing an impression, rather than embodying the character she was supposed to be. Lily Rabe was a little blah, compared to her previous two roles in this series, as was Sarah Paulson’s meek Cordelia. Angela Basset was great in her brief role as Marie Laveau, I just hope she’s more affluent in this season. I was expecting more of Evan Peters, I was under the impression he was going to be encompassing a role closer to Tate than last season’s Kit. Although his chemistry with Taissa Farmiga is palpable, he didn’t seem real in the scene on the frat bus. And then there’s Taissa herself. While Violet was a bit of a downer, the realistic perspective she had on life in weird shades was wonderful, as was her relationship with Tate. But she just didn’t seem to have enough of an edge in this episode, and what the hell was up with her killing her boyfriend because she had sex with him? Why would that be a witch’s power?
I desperately hope this season gets better. It’s already better than last season, but last season was awful. The woman in me that always picks favourites desperately wanted Zoe to be the Supreme, but I wonder if she could even be if Fiona is still alive. Still, I hope she somehow turns out to be the next one, though I doubt it will happen.
My one final question before I go is, how in the hell is Lalaurie alive? And why would she go up against Fiona? (So I guess that’s not one question, but they’re along the same lines as each other.) I just find it ridiculous she was seen dying by Marie Laveau’s hand, and then ends up still alive after being dug up. What the hell is that all about? I know Kathy Bates is a good actress (although I much prefer her Southern role in Titanic), but that doesn’t justify illogical prolonged life. But I suppose I should wait for the answer before I complain.
Oh, and really? You use Grey Damon merely so he can rape a witch, she can try and kill all the people who gang raped her (and one innocent victim), and he can be killed by Zoe? He’s a better actor than that, at least use him in a role that counts. I liked him on The Nine Lives of Chloe King… although I loved Alec more.
My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:
“Like my cousin Amanda, she’s just bulimic.” – Zoe explaining that the witch gene doesn’t hit every female in a family.
“The light hit him just fine.” – Madison explaining how she killed her agent.
“Don’t make me drop a house on you.” – Fiona weakly threatens her daughter, after she’s mentioned she’s tempted to change the locks.

Okay, I’m off to watch The Crazy Ones to get this negativity out of my system. Then I’ll at least get one or two more in.

No comments:

Post a Comment