American Horror Story: Coven 3.09 Review: Witch Hunters

Anyone that has yet to watch Wednesday night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, entitled ‘Head’, then you’re taking longer to watch it than I am to review it, I suggest you do that now. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

So, three episodes left until the season finale, in which this series of characters wrap themselves up. With that in mind, I’m not sure the progression of this story is being done quite as well as the first season was. This whole dedicating flashbacks to Hank business this week was a tad boring, and wasn’t really necessary to complete his story. So, basically there’s an entire company dedicated to taking witch-kind down, and yet they supposedly have very few left? It seems a little ludicrous to me. Also, the fact that Hank was merely “placed” in the coven as eyes, when it was made to look like he took the initiative to get into bed with Marie Laveau in order to take these witches down. Sloppy writing right there if you ask me.

Basically, what I found is that this week’s episode was terribly slow. We were back to horribly done camera angles. I’m sorry, it’s not artsy, it’s nauseating; please stop it so I can enjoy this program. They go through all of this struggle with Kyle and stuff, only to have Fiona swoop in and fix him to the best of her abilities. And yet, he’s still not fully there; he’s just around as an attack dog. I have to say, of all the characters this season, I’m most disappointed with Kyle. I’d thought by now he’d at least be mostly back to who he was, but now he’s apparently just their attack dog? What? It made sense that he’d kill his mother, but that other dog? Also, what was this whole business of having the council members cut up? I’d understand Myrtle’s desire for revenge, but that seemed a bit over the top if you ask me.

All in all, while I was happy to have Cordelia get her sight back, as well as watching Marie Laveau go crawling to the witches, I’m not sure this season is shaping up to be anywhere near as good as I’d hoped it would be. The villains of the season seem pretty pathetic when you look at it, and it appears as if there is no overarching story developing at all this season. This really is a mess of a season, and I don’t see how it thinks it could get any better. That’s two disappointing seasons in a row; if next year isn’t better, I’ll probably be done.  The writing is just nowhere near as tight and well-developed as it really should be, and it makes me incredibly disappointed in the showrunner for this season. Sure, that song was beautiful at the end, but about half of each episode could be cut out and it would still be enjoyable. It’s dissatisfying.

My rating: 6.5 out of 10 (and that .5 is merely for the last five minutes).

Best Lines:

“No, bitch, she’s clairvoyant.” – Madison states.

“You’re one stubborn old lady head, you know?” – Queenie remarks.

Okay, my apologies for the lateness of this, but I’ve just had a long couple of days. I have a few more reviews to catch up on, but probably won’t get to those tonight. Maybe The Crazy Ones, but I’m not sure yet. So check back later to see.

American Horror Story: Coven 3.05 Review: Protecting the Coven

For all those that have yet to watch last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, titled ‘Burn, Witch. Burn!’, now is your last chance to do without the threat of spoilers. For this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

For an episode I was looking forward to, I was sadly disappointed with a lot of what this episode gave us. Don’t get me wrong, it was certainly a step above every episode from last season, but all of the filming techniques were just too damned distracting. Last week I thought, yay, this series is finally moving this season into mostly regular cinematography, and then this week I get blurred lens work, terrible lighting and focus, as well a lot of terrible angle work. The cinematography was back to being aggravatingly distracting. I mean, was I supposed to be able to pay attention to anything going on on screen? The blurriness was in the way of so much of it, that what was the point to adding it in? They weren’t dreaming, everything that was happening on screen was happening, and they weren’t drunk, so I just don’t get it.

 While the cinematography was horrendous, the writing direction of this season hasn’t been terrible. I like the way that they’re going with Zoe’s character more now than when she was first introduced in the season premiere. When she pulled out the chainsaw I thought, ‘Bitch with a chainsaw, nice.’ Even if her voice was a little squeaky and high-pitched every time she would yell at someone to run. It’s also nice to see Nan and this boy-next-door character finding a connection, although I’ve liked Nan all season. Fiona hit the nail on the head when she said Nan was smarter than all of them. Queenie has had some pretty interesting lines, but what she did two episodes ago was disgusting, and the idiocy she seems to have is a little unbelievable. I did greatly enjoy Fiona this week, especially in that scene where she brings the stillborn baby back to life, as well as how she was trying to be more protective of her daughter now that she’s lost her sight. The one thing I wasn’t too fond of was Misty bringing Myrtle back to life; I feel like they’re going to be working in cahoots soon, when I’d really hoped Misty and Zoe’s friendship would get more screen time.

That was definitely an interesting choice of music for the scene leading Myrtle to the witch-burning pole. The way that was filmed was mostly intriguing, with the two men in suits and everyone walking out to it. The song was strangely fitting for this point in the episode. I am now more confused with the whole daughters situation with Madame Lalaurie. I just don’t think this writing in this episode fit the scene quite well with the season’s premiere, but maybe I’m not able to match things up.

Overall, this episode wasn’t quite as exciting as I expected. I think I get disappointed every time I hold high expectations for this series, but only love it when my expectations are low. The trouble is, every time my expectations are surpassed, they’re higher for the next episode, so it’s almost like a rollercoaster, every other week I like the episode, the other weeks I don’t. We’ll see how this comes to pass in future weeks. I do hope we see Kyle again more, and that my belief that Zoe is the next Supreme (given the evidence of this episode leading it to be the most likely) comes to light. It would be a disappointment if she weren’t, being that there is more evidence of it being true of her, than any of the others.

My rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“I like a witch who knows how to fight.” – Fiona informs Zoe, after she fought for the coven.

“I doubt it. You are, after all, the maid.” – Fiona tells Madame Lalaurie, who thinks that their similar motherly circumstances could bring them closer together.

Okay, now I just have to wait for The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, Grey’s Anatomy, and The Crazy Ones to air, before I can review any of them. Check back in a few hours for those reviews.

American Horror Story: Coven 3.02 Review: What's So Great About Eternal Life?

For any that have yet to watch last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, entitled ‘Boy Parts’, I suggest you do so now, or exit this screen immediately. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

Well, this week’s episode was better than last week, but there still wasn’t much horror to it. Plus, a lot of the storylines are way out there, and all over the place. There’s way too many things going on at once, and it’s just distracting to try and keep track of all of it. If the things all weaved together, I’d give some leeway to them, but there’s really still too much going on.

This week I really enjoyed Lily Rabe’s character, Misty Day. I’m extremely happy she’s not dead, despite being burnt alive. The way she was dressed, and her hair were both fantastic for the character. I absolutely adored her scenes with Taissa Farmiga’s Zoe. It was incredibly sad how much she wanted someone like her around, and that vulnerability came across quite well on screen. I definitely want more of Zoe and Misty in scenes. Also, my favourite moment may have been Misty singing along to Stevie Nixx. That was an amazingly beautiful scene.

Other than her scenes with Misty, the character of Zoe is a little too weak and sniveling. Plus, the black widow power, kind of stupid. But about how weak she is, it’s boring to watch. I don’t want to follow a weepy little blabbermouth like her around, but I absolutely love Taissa Farmiga in this series, so I have a conundrum. Can the writers please give the girl better material to work with?

About the technical stuff in this series, the music for the opening titles is scarier than the actual titles. The first two seasons – despite the second season not being scary – at least had horrifying title sequences. That and the terrible cinematography this season, sometimes it’s completely disorienting, with the upside down shots, and then other times it’s too close-up. In the scene where Madison and Zoe are trying to resurrect Kyle, the scene would’ve been well put together if the camera people had just backed up about a foot or two. So, when splicing the material together, try not to make it so damned difficult to watch. Sure, the last two seasons, scenes would just show up, like bam I’m here, but it’s like they’re purposely trying to distract us from scenes and make us nauseous to watch this series this season. I can’t say any stronger how much I can’t stand it. Sure, it was a bit better than last week, but not nearly as well done as the previous seasons. There’s ten episodes left, get your act together.

Surprisingly, I find myself liking how Emma Roberts plays her character Madison. She seems to be able to play spoiled rich girl quite well, and she’s dangerous to boot. And then Kyle seemed closer to crazy Tate than last week. Maybe it was the hair; it looked a lot like the crazy blonde Tate had. But I seriously hope he doesn’t actually spend six episodes devoid of speech. There are only twelve episodes in a season, and he spoke the first episode, that leaves five more episodes of not talking. Maybe one more would work, but five’s pushing it beyond the realm of intriguing acting techniques.

There are many questions I still have about this series. What was the necessity of throwing Cordelia’s desire to have a child into the mix of an already clogged season of storylines? After about one hundred and eighty years, why didn’t Marie Laveau have more money to show for it? Did Lily Rabe look pregnant to anyone else during the opening scene where she resurrects the crocodiles? Could Zoe be the next Supreme? Wasn’t Queenie’s ancestor the slave that was accused of witchcraft? Wouldn’t that make her a Voodoo witch if that was the same person Laveau was speaking of? And why didn’t the spell call Misty to Madison? Was it just because Zoe was still in the vicinity of where the spell was enacted, or is it because she is the Supreme?

Well, American Horror Story: Coven, you’ve done a smidge better this week, but please work harder next week. Cut the disorienting cinematography, tighten the storylines, and let Kyle speak soon. Those are my suggestions; I implore you to adhere to them.

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“In this whole wide wicked world, the only thing you have to be afraid of, is me.” – Fiona tells Madison and Zoe.

“I’m sorry for your loss. You want a bite?” – Fiona asks Madame Lalaurie.

“Did we just marry the devil? Because I don’t know if I’m down with that?” – Zoe questions Madison, while they perform the resurrection spell.

“Well, that was a bust.” – Madison remarks after the spell doesn’t work.

“She had the face of a damn hippo.” – Madame Lalaurie remembers her long deceased daughter.

All right, folks, that’s all for tonight. I’ll catch you all tomorrow for reviews of The Crazy Ones, The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, and Grey’s Anatomy. And hopefully my fifth edition of Best Performances of the Week.

American Horror Story: Coven 3.01 Review: When Witches Don't Fight, They Burn

Anyone that has yet to watch the season premiere of American Horror Story: Coven, titled ‘Bitchcraft’, then I suggest you do so now. As always, this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! That includes spoilers from previous seasons, as this is an anthology series. You’ve been warned.

Okay, I have to say I am sorely disappointed in this season premiere. Sure it was better than last season, but last season was terrible, and it in no way touched the series premiere in any way. After all the build up and excitement I felt going into this season, I honestly need to start lowering my expectations with this show. The problem is, the promos are always so great and so creepy, but the show almost always falls flat, and this episode definitely did.

The cinematography was TERRIBLE in this episode – so terrible, all caps was absolutely necessary to express just how bad it was. Honestly, what was the need for so many convex images? That just made it TERRIBLE! And, was it absolutely necessary to keep slanting the camera so I kept feeling like the actors should be sliding around? Whomever shot this episode needs to be fired and kept away from a camera for the rest of their lives, that’s how bad this episode was. It wasn’t artsy, it wasn’t fresh, it wasn’t modern, it was just plain bad. Stay away from the camera Mr. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, you’re a terrible director.

My other problem with this episode was how much time they focused on Kathy Bates’ character Madame Delphine Lalaurie. Five whole minutes at the beginning of the episode? That’s how you think this season should be introduced to viewers’ eyes? Two minutes, tops, that’s all that was needed, the rest was simply unnecessary.

Another thing, this is called American Horror Story with the subtitle Coven, there should be something scary to the episode. There’s only twelve episodes to a season, don’t go wasting your time away on needless issues. Where’s the great horror from the first season? I miss that. I miss crazy, psychotic Tate, and the Harmon’s. I miss Constance, and I desperately want to know what happened to the devil child. At least last season got tied up, what was necessary about leaving open storylines for the first season? But my point is, this season needs more horror, especially since last season wasn’t scary at all, other than how incredibly scarring it was. By scary, I mean ghosts, and bumps in the night. Stuff most people have nightmares about (I say most because I’m not one of those, I just like those scares). If I’d known there wasn’t going to be anything creepy about this episode, I would’ve left the light on so I could write my notes easier.

And one more thing, those opening titles they weren’t good. At least season two had a creepy title sequence, though not quite as good as the first seasons, but this season nothing. I kept thinking the hooded people were from the KKK, with the pointed hoods. But I suppose they’d rather be dead than caught wearing black. Still, that was distracting. You have more time than a regular full season series to get the ball rolling for twelve episodes of fun, be more creative.

Now in relation to characters. Emma Roberts did surprisingly well in her role as the fallen movie star witch. Both Gabourey Sidibe and Jamie Brewer were good in their respective roles. Jessica Lange wasn’t bad either, but nowhere near as great as she was as Constance. Now, Frances Conroy? I would’ve expected more from her. She felt like she was merely doing an impression, rather than embodying the character she was supposed to be. Lily Rabe was a little blah, compared to her previous two roles in this series, as was Sarah Paulson’s meek Cordelia. Angela Basset was great in her brief role as Marie Laveau, I just hope she’s more affluent in this season. I was expecting more of Evan Peters, I was under the impression he was going to be encompassing a role closer to Tate than last season’s Kit. Although his chemistry with Taissa Farmiga is palpable, he didn’t seem real in the scene on the frat bus. And then there’s Taissa herself. While Violet was a bit of a downer, the realistic perspective she had on life in weird shades was wonderful, as was her relationship with Tate. But she just didn’t seem to have enough of an edge in this episode, and what the hell was up with her killing her boyfriend because she had sex with him? Why would that be a witch’s power?

I desperately hope this season gets better. It’s already better than last season, but last season was awful. The woman in me that always picks favourites desperately wanted Zoe to be the Supreme, but I wonder if she could even be if Fiona is still alive. Still, I hope she somehow turns out to be the next one, though I doubt it will happen.

My one final question before I go is, how in the hell is Lalaurie alive? And why would she go up against Fiona? (So I guess that’s not one question, but they’re along the same lines as each other.) I just find it ridiculous she was seen dying by Marie Laveau’s hand, and then ends up still alive after being dug up. What the hell is that all about? I know Kathy Bates is a good actress (although I much prefer her Southern role in Titanic), but that doesn’t justify illogical prolonged life. But I suppose I should wait for the answer before I complain.

Oh, and really? You use Grey Damon merely so he can rape a witch, she can try and kill all the people who gang raped her (and one innocent victim), and he can be killed by Zoe? He’s a better actor than that, at least use him in a role that counts. I liked him on The Nine Lives of Chloe King… although I loved Alec more.

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“Like my cousin Amanda, she’s just bulimic.” – Zoe explaining that the witch gene doesn’t hit every female in a family.

“The light hit him just fine.” – Madison explaining how she killed her agent.

“Don’t make me drop a house on you.” – Fiona weakly threatens her daughter, after she’s mentioned she’s tempted to change the locks.

Okay, I’m off to watch The Crazy Ones to get this negativity out of my system. Then I’ll at least get one or two more in.