Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.07 Review: Neglectful Fathers

For any of those that have yet to watch last night’s episode of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, titled ‘Bad Blood’, this is where I tell you to stop, turn around, go watch the episode, and then come back here. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Proceed ahead at your own discretion.

So, I’m surprised at myself that I’m still watching this series, but here I am, reviewing another episode. Basically we got more backstory relating to Jafar’s father issues, and finally were concretely told that the other man in the cage is in fact the Sultan, Jafar’s father – but then who honestly didn’t guess that? That’s what I was a little shocked at for this episode, the “big reveal” music they gave when we definitively learned he was the Sultan. Honestly, who else could the man have been? But then we also learned he tried to kill his son, and thus the reason for Jafar’s daddy issues. See, women aren’t the only ones that have them! Basically, Jafar’s daddy issues made him this evil villain, where all he wants is for the Sultan to call him his son. I mean, the guy does have a right to it; the man did try and kill him. Still, the guy’s hardcore evil, so I don’t really think there’s any redeeming him.

Elsewhere, Alice believes her father has come to Wonderland – and he really has, she’s just not talking to the real one. We’re able to see some parallels between Jafar and Alice, and that almost made it look like they were leading Jafar to not try to put Alice’s life in peril constantly, but then nada. But so help me God if they try and redeem him like they did the Evil Queen on Once Upon A Time. Anyways, Alice is still making her travels to find Cyrus, and next week they’ll apparently find each other. I’m sorry, but I’m still convinced she has more chemistry with Will, and that Cyrus is more or less a big, dull, dud. He’s so… boring. But this is a fairytale series, so there’s little hope that this “true love” couple will ever be with anyone else. A girl can dream though.

All in all, this is a mostly terribly acted series that a person has to shut their brain off to enjoy. This is not a series where you can shut your brain off, you actually have to shut your intelligence off to enjoy this show. And that’s a difficult feat for some, so I don’t expect this series to go passed this one season. Especially once Cyrus and Alice are reunited. I mean, honestly, what other possibly good storytelling could they have? Also, was that Aram playing the young Sultan (for all those The Blacklist lovers out there)?

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“If you’re just going to show me off, was the bag really necessary?” – the White Rabbit questions Jafar.

“Actually, isn’t vanishing one of the things genies can do?” – One of the Tweedle’s asks the Red Queen.

“Let’s see. Dice, a dollar bill, keys to Grannies – she’s gonna be right pissed about that.” – the Knave mutters, taking inventory of his possessions, with a nice little nod to the series mothership.

Okay, I’m off to review Grey’s Anatomy now. After, I have to watch and review The Crazy Ones, online for once because my stupid DVR didn’t record the show because it was on another damn channel. Anyways, stay tuned.

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.05 Review: Love Isn't Always Enough

All those that have yet to watch tonight’s episode of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, entitled ‘Heart of Stone’, this would be a good time to do that before reading ahead. For this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

This was a much stronger episode than this series has head probably since the premiere. I think that is because it did not rely heavily on Alice’s quest to find Cyrus, in that the flashback scenes were of the Red Queen’s past and how she became who she is today.

I like Alice and all, but I somehow find myself caring more about the Red Queen than Alice’s love quest. This really was her episode; she owned it. The depth that they’ve added to her by showing us the struggles Will and her went through upon reaching Wonderland, and even before leaving for it. There’s something about a woman that will fight and strive for more than she is that is admirable. Sure, she betrayed her love for Will, but that showed the honest truth in the matter that love isn’t always enough. That being said, this is a series based on fairytales, so I’m doubting that will be viewed as a good thing, but I can’t help rooting for this character now more than ever. Despite the fact that she married a man that looked like he could’ve been her father, and was acting like it too.

There were some other intriguing points to this episode too. Cyrus managed to escape, which I’m glad he was able to do because Alice fighting for him was a little too one-sided for my liking. The White Rabbit gave up more about Alice and her supposed “weakness” of caring about others. His betrayal, while I’m pretty sure I understand the circumstances, reminds me very much of Rachel’s dad in Revolution; good intentions, but bad choices made despite that.

Anastasia (a.k.a. the Red Queen) used the dust she acquired with the use of Alice’s pure heart to resurrect Will from his stony composure (see what I did there?). She still loves him, and obviously the King is out of the picture, or else he’d be around for his people. I’m just not sure how much I want these two to be together because they don’t seem meant for each other. They may love each other, but like I said, love is not enough. Besides, they seem more like each other’s first loves than true, soul mate kind of loves.

All in all, I really loved this episode. Going in, I actually thought this was going to be my last week of this series, but if they can keep things going more like this I’ll have to stick around. I love Alice’s will to fight, and the Red Queen now more than ever, so this is beginning to be a more attractive series than it has been the last few episodes. By next week’s previews, I’m looking forward to Alice’s struggle on what love she’ll choose – family or Cyrus.

My rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Best Line:

“If I wanted you to fall off the cliff, I’d push you.” – the Red Queen explains to Alice rather eloquently.

Okay, kiddos, I’m off to watch The Vampire Diaries now, I think. Check back soon for that. Afterwards it’s Grey’s Anatomy and The Crazy Ones. Stay tuned.

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.04 Review: The Search for Power

Anyone that has yet to watch tonight’s episode of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, entitled ‘The Serpent’, then now would be the time to go and do that. For this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

Every time I watch this series, the bulk of it makes me cringe and want to stop watching. But then I think, what if there is a crossover with Once Upon A Time, or even just something small that would link the shows together, and I have to keep watching. Not only that but I like the character of Alice and the Knave, it’s just disappointing that this series isn’t better than it is when the show it spun off of was great in its first season. Makes me wish they’d kept the idea of this just linking the winter hiatus of Once.

The most disappointing thing about this series is twofold. Once again I will reiterate how the costumes – namely the Red Queen and Jafar’s – look cheap and make the actors look like they’re dressing up. It doesn’t help that the baby-faced Queen very well could just be a tot imagining all this. Every time I think of that, I flash back to an episode of Avatar: the Last Airbender, where Aang says the two warring communities was just based on the brotherly fight between infants, when in actuality he’d never met them.

The other issue with this series, again, is the CGI. It doesn’t help me immerge with the magic this series is supposed to have. It’s easy with a book, it’s left up to the imagination of the reader, but with a television series, the visuals are quite integral to the pace of the story. And in this case, more so than Once Upon A Time, the CGI is abysmal. And for all those Friends lovers out there, contrary to Joey’s belief, abysmal is not a good thing. I just don’t understand what the showrunners are spending their episodic budget on, the only name actor I can see other than the voice of the rabbit would be Jafar, so salary can’t be an issue. I just don’t see it.

All in all, I’m not sure how I’m still watching this series. It’s not very good, and somehow seems to be more over the top than its mother ship. This week’s episode did have a nice use of a catapult, aiding Alice and the Knave in their escape, and if it hasn’t been said before, the man in the other cage must be the Sultan. But I just don’t see this spinoff being able to stand on its own, it really needs its mother ship to help it get its own legs.

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Line:

“Excuse me. Pardon me. (Pause) I have a blade.” – Alice says to the townspeople, as she tries to get to the board that says the Knave is to be executed that day.

All right, I’m off to watch The Vampire Diaries now. After that it’ll be Grey’s Anatomy, and then capping it off with The Crazy Ones. I may or may not watch all before reviewing anymore, but stay tuned anyways.

Once Upon A Time in Wonderland 1.02 Review: Love is About Faith, but Proof is Nice

Anyone that has yet to watch tonight’s episode of Once Upon A Time in Wonderland, titled ‘Trust Me’, I suggest you do so now. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

While I like how spunky Alice is, and how witty the Knave is, this is not a great series. The terrible CGI work is distracting, and I don’t have as strong a pull to this character as I did Emma in the mother show. For the life of me I don’t see how this series could possibly do well without Once Upon A Time as a lead in. When Betrayal is cancelled – and it will be cancelled eventually – Revenge should be moved to the 10 o’clock spot, and this series should move into the 9 o’clock slot. Not as great as the 8 pm slot, but it really will need Once Upon A Time as a lead in if it hopes to do well.

Jafar and the Red Queen’s costumes are always so ridiculous and too over done. They look like they’re kids dressing up in costumes, rather than characters trying to show off how bad or powerful they are. There’s always bits jutting out, mostly from shoulders, and the very costume red they’ve given the Queen is just terrible. The writers are supposed to make these characters feel like actually people that could exist in the fantastical world of Wonderland, but half the time I just expect them to poof into little children playing dress up. The Knave and Alice’s outfits on the other hand feel like just that, outfits. They fit the situations and suit the characters.

Despite how badly the CGI is for Wonderland, when the scenes were set in Agrabbah they actually looked realistic. That setting actually looked like it could exist somewhere. Wonderland’s does not. Again, let me implore the showrunners to actually put a bit more money into the tacky CGI work they’ve been doing so far, make it a little more believable. About the only scenes that were believable were the forest ones, where CGI isn’t needed.

The way Emma Rigby plays the Red Queen is mostly not working. The woman looks like a baby faced model, yet another thing that fits my theory of these characters just being children we’ll eventually learn just have a decent imagination and are playing with each other. Poof, these are actually just kids behind the curtain (and, yes, that was a Wizard of Oz reference). Naveen Andrews is also not playing his character as believably as he should. Sure, kids are supposed to be able to watch this series and not get super frightened, but kids aren’t as stupid as people make them out to be. Besides, I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I was eight, and those villains were at least believably evil.

And one final note before I get too worked up about the stupidity of parts of this series, I don’t care what the showrunners are saying, the Knave has some serious chemistry with Alice. Sure, every scene she spends with the Genie has a love feeling to it, but it’s more like puppy love, the thing young kids or teenagers have. With the Knave it’s like they can actually work together. I know they’re writing it so that there is no love triangle involved, but I’m sorry, it doesn’t look that way every time the actors are on screen together. Besides, why would he go to save her from the asylum if he didn’t have some kind of feelings for her?

My rating: 6 out of 10 (and that’s being generous).

Best Lines:

“With a name like that, why would they? Unless they were a care bear.” – the Knave tells Alice.

“Oh, bloody hell.” – Alice says, before she forces herself to drop from the fairy’s magic to save the Knave from drowning.

All right, I’m off to go watch The Vampire Diaries, then either Grey’s Anatomy or The Crazy Ones, not sure which will come next just yet. Stay tuned.

New Girl 3.05 Review: Money Complicates Things

For all those that have yet to watch tonight’s episode of New Girl, entitled ‘The Box’, then I suggest you do so now. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Proceed at your own discretion.

This episode made me more mad than it did make me laugh. The stupidity of Nick getting money from his dad’s estate, and thinking he didn’t have to pay his bills, pay his taxes, or worry about anything he didn’t want to do. That was just incredibly moronic storytelling. Is that what these writers think they should be putting out there? There are better, funnier ways of making someone look like they haven’t grown up, and thinking they didn’t have a responsibility to anything they didn’t want to do, was just plain ridiculous. You’re honestly making me hate Nick Miller. Really, what the hell is your problem? And just the idea that Jess should feel she’s in the wrong for sending in money to pay these bills was dumb as a post. Plus, wouldn’t he have gone to jail for not paying his taxes?

The other thing about this episode that made me angry was just the way they played up Schmidt’s self-centered arrogance. He’s going around wanting to be called a good man, when a good man wouldn’t be thinking solely of themself. Schmidt’s ridiculousness can be quite funny at times, but this was definitely not the episode. Honestly, whoever wrote this episode needs to go sit in a corner and be beaten until they realize they’re not funny. Okay, maybe that’s overkill, but that’s how strongly unfunny this episode was.

About the only scenes I did like were between Jess and Winston, and the scene at the end where Winston gives Schmidt the candelabra. The conversation between them about genies and wishes was the only hilarious moment in this episode. I really think Winston is the only thing keeping me watching this ever growingly moronic series.

My rating: 5.5 out of 10.

All right, I’m off to watch Trophy Wife, and hopefully that can actually make me laugh. Then it’s Supernatural, and finally The Originals. Stay tuned.