Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.07 Review: Neglectful Fathers

For any of those that have yet to watch last night’s episode of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, titled ‘Bad Blood’, this is where I tell you to stop, turn around, go watch the episode, and then come back here. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Proceed ahead at your own discretion.

So, I’m surprised at myself that I’m still watching this series, but here I am, reviewing another episode. Basically we got more backstory relating to Jafar’s father issues, and finally were concretely told that the other man in the cage is in fact the Sultan, Jafar’s father – but then who honestly didn’t guess that? That’s what I was a little shocked at for this episode, the “big reveal” music they gave when we definitively learned he was the Sultan. Honestly, who else could the man have been? But then we also learned he tried to kill his son, and thus the reason for Jafar’s daddy issues. See, women aren’t the only ones that have them! Basically, Jafar’s daddy issues made him this evil villain, where all he wants is for the Sultan to call him his son. I mean, the guy does have a right to it; the man did try and kill him. Still, the guy’s hardcore evil, so I don’t really think there’s any redeeming him.

Elsewhere, Alice believes her father has come to Wonderland – and he really has, she’s just not talking to the real one. We’re able to see some parallels between Jafar and Alice, and that almost made it look like they were leading Jafar to not try to put Alice’s life in peril constantly, but then nada. But so help me God if they try and redeem him like they did the Evil Queen on Once Upon A Time. Anyways, Alice is still making her travels to find Cyrus, and next week they’ll apparently find each other. I’m sorry, but I’m still convinced she has more chemistry with Will, and that Cyrus is more or less a big, dull, dud. He’s so… boring. But this is a fairytale series, so there’s little hope that this “true love” couple will ever be with anyone else. A girl can dream though.

All in all, this is a mostly terribly acted series that a person has to shut their brain off to enjoy. This is not a series where you can shut your brain off, you actually have to shut your intelligence off to enjoy this show. And that’s a difficult feat for some, so I don’t expect this series to go passed this one season. Especially once Cyrus and Alice are reunited. I mean, honestly, what other possibly good storytelling could they have? Also, was that Aram playing the young Sultan (for all those The Blacklist lovers out there)?

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“If you’re just going to show me off, was the bag really necessary?” – the White Rabbit questions Jafar.

“Actually, isn’t vanishing one of the things genies can do?” – One of the Tweedle’s asks the Red Queen.

“Let’s see. Dice, a dollar bill, keys to Grannies – she’s gonna be right pissed about that.” – the Knave mutters, taking inventory of his possessions, with a nice little nod to the series mothership.

Okay, I’m off to review Grey’s Anatomy now. After, I have to watch and review The Crazy Ones, online for once because my stupid DVR didn’t record the show because it was on another damn channel. Anyways, stay tuned.

Haven 4.03 Review: Right When Your About to Give Up

Let’s get this out of the way. Anyone that has yet to watch last night’s episode of Haven, titled ‘Bad Blood’, and wishes to do so spoiler free, now would be the time to exit this blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

How to begin… This week’s episode of Haven was about a Trouble where blood was going after people and sucking them dry of their own. Unsurprisingly, there was the comparison to vampires, but at least this wasn’t an actual theory the characters were focusing on.

‘Bad Blood’ was okay, but it wasn’t the best that could’ve been written. My favourite parts were still the scenes surrounding Audrey/Lexie and William, and also the scenes at the morgue. I thought Richard Donat did very well in playing Vince not wanting to go in to guarantee whether or not Audrey was the body on ice. As long as he stayed outside the morgue, there would still be a chance that the body wasn’t Audrey. Then when we learned it wasn’t, it fit perfectly back into the moment where William tells Audrey/Lexie that she isn’t dead.

Without Audrey, I don’t think I’m much of a fan of Nathan. This brooding crap he’s emitting isn’t all that interestingly done, and not something I haven’t seen before. He’s kind of boring and one-dimensional at the moment, and I’d really like to see that change. His best moments were actually the ones with Jordan near the end, where she expresses just how much she doesn’t want to be stuck like this, and even then he didn’t really say much, it was more about his physical acting.

I’m really getting sick of this Wade character. He’s not convincing in this series, especially not as Duke’s brother. The writing for him is just not believable to me, and it’s just so cliché that he sticks around because his wife is cheating on him. And can I just say, how much he’s not acting like he’s hurt by that fact? The guy seems more wooden then anything. I’m completely surprised too, because I know he did well on Dexter, but on this show he’s just terrible.

While I’m going back and forth with this Jennifer character, particularly the way they keep writing her constantly changing, she wasn’t the worst part of this episode. I like it every time she’s kind of displaying nervousness, she’s definitely the most convincing in that. Whenever she started hearing the noises from the bar where Audrey/Lexie is in her head was certainly obvious, but interesting all the same.

The Sasquatch is still as wooden as ever. I really can’t stand him in the forefront of this series. It was interesting the first time he brought up being a cleaner coming in handy, but it was necessary to fit that in more than once. Those lines almost made it seem like he was bragging about, or really just reading off a script without actually acting. He was a much better character in the background, popping in and out, and keeping him up front and center is not improving his character. I get the logic behind him becoming Chief, now, but he’s just not a very good actor.

I’m still having trouble believing there isn’t some other way to make the Troubles go away for good. It can’t be simply for Audrey to sacrifice/kill her one love. There has to be some other way to keep them gone, and it better be something that makes sense when they finally do come out with it. It just doesn’t feel logical to me that the only way to give everyone a happy life in Haven, that she has to lose what makes her happy.

Also, where’s Audrey’s son? If the barn is dying, is he dead? That was such a big part of last season, and the previous seasons, being that he’s the Colorado Kid that Audrey was searching for for so long, and now that’s been basically forgotten. Will that be brought up again? I really think we deserve something more than just a disappearing act.

One other thing I was curious about in this episode, what was with all of the animal comparisons? I know they explained that Duke had been watching Animal Planet, or something, but what was the point to that? He doesn’t quite come across as someone that just watches documentary programs about animals. Plus, he didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic about it every time he brought it up. And also, has he already gotten over Audrey? He seems to have moved on pretty easily. Love triangle for three seasons, and then just instant progression for a character that hasn’t seen the woman in about a couple weeks.

Alas, I relent.

My rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Best Lines:

“Slowing down for a yellow is just a matter of taste.” – Dave, after having driven Vince’s car to the station.

“I don’t think it wants any of us, Sasquatch.” – Duke, referring to Dwight as the man-beast.

All right, that’s all for now. Don’t forget to check back in on Sunday for my reviews of Once Upon a Time and Revenge’s third season premieres. If you’re lucky, I might actually review Betrayal as well, if I get around to watching it.