Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.07 Review: Neglectful Fathers

For any of those that have yet to watch last night’s episode of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, titled ‘Bad Blood’, this is where I tell you to stop, turn around, go watch the episode, and then come back here. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Proceed ahead at your own discretion.

So, I’m surprised at myself that I’m still watching this series, but here I am, reviewing another episode. Basically we got more backstory relating to Jafar’s father issues, and finally were concretely told that the other man in the cage is in fact the Sultan, Jafar’s father – but then who honestly didn’t guess that? That’s what I was a little shocked at for this episode, the “big reveal” music they gave when we definitively learned he was the Sultan. Honestly, who else could the man have been? But then we also learned he tried to kill his son, and thus the reason for Jafar’s daddy issues. See, women aren’t the only ones that have them! Basically, Jafar’s daddy issues made him this evil villain, where all he wants is for the Sultan to call him his son. I mean, the guy does have a right to it; the man did try and kill him. Still, the guy’s hardcore evil, so I don’t really think there’s any redeeming him.

Elsewhere, Alice believes her father has come to Wonderland – and he really has, she’s just not talking to the real one. We’re able to see some parallels between Jafar and Alice, and that almost made it look like they were leading Jafar to not try to put Alice’s life in peril constantly, but then nada. But so help me God if they try and redeem him like they did the Evil Queen on Once Upon A Time. Anyways, Alice is still making her travels to find Cyrus, and next week they’ll apparently find each other. I’m sorry, but I’m still convinced she has more chemistry with Will, and that Cyrus is more or less a big, dull, dud. He’s so… boring. But this is a fairytale series, so there’s little hope that this “true love” couple will ever be with anyone else. A girl can dream though.

All in all, this is a mostly terribly acted series that a person has to shut their brain off to enjoy. This is not a series where you can shut your brain off, you actually have to shut your intelligence off to enjoy this show. And that’s a difficult feat for some, so I don’t expect this series to go passed this one season. Especially once Cyrus and Alice are reunited. I mean, honestly, what other possibly good storytelling could they have? Also, was that Aram playing the young Sultan (for all those The Blacklist lovers out there)?

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“If you’re just going to show me off, was the bag really necessary?” – the White Rabbit questions Jafar.

“Actually, isn’t vanishing one of the things genies can do?” – One of the Tweedle’s asks the Red Queen.

“Let’s see. Dice, a dollar bill, keys to Grannies – she’s gonna be right pissed about that.” – the Knave mutters, taking inventory of his possessions, with a nice little nod to the series mothership.

Okay, I’m off to review Grey’s Anatomy now. After, I have to watch and review The Crazy Ones, online for once because my stupid DVR didn’t record the show because it was on another damn channel. Anyways, stay tuned.

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland 1.01 Review: Love Will Find a Way

All those that have yet to watch the series premiere of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, titled ‘Down the Rabbit Hole’, then please do so now. I’d hate to ruin it for anyone, as this is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

So, not a terrible premiere. It was no Once Upon A Time pilot, despite it being the spin-off series of said show, but it had its moments. Including throwing some Storybrooke into the mix, along with a couple of characters and a snippet of Emma’s yellow bug.

I find it funny how Sophie Lowe somewhat resembles Mia Wasikowski, the Alice of Alice in Wonderland film that also “coincidentally” revolves around Alice returning to Wonderland as a young woman. Despite that, I do think Lowe did quite well in this pilot. The quiet tears as she is questioned by the shrinks, the awesome ass-kicking she gives to the orderlies, and the way she is so creative in getting out of bad situations. She’s made no award-winning performance yet, but she’s better than some of the performances in the mother show.

The Knave I also found quite enticing. His slippery hands, the sardonic sense of humour, and the way he just has to go along with what Alice asks of him, it’s all rather well done. While I know this is supposed to be about the love story between Alice and Cyrus, the genie, I kind of hope that something happens between Alice and Will, the knave. He’s much more interesting than the genie, and I think he likes Alice, though I may be reading a bit too much into that.

Let’s wrap the other characters up in one go. Jafar was all right, but nothing spectacular, not like the man’s performance in Lost. The Red Queen had something of an understated acting skill, but she still reminded me too much of a model attempting to act, like Rosie Huntington-Whitley in the last Transformers film. And, like I said above, the genie was kind of boring. I kind of saw his love for Alice and a bit of a spark, but the chemistry didn’t fully seem there. He’s kind of just blah. John Lithgow voicing the rabbit is good, but it almost overtakes the rest of the actors.

Similar to all the scenes in the Fairytaleland in the original series, the special effects are abysmal in this show. It’s even worse for this series, which relies so heavily on them, being that it is set in Wonderland, a fantastical world. It’s rather distracting. They’re almost cartoonish. I mean really, shell on some money for better CGI-ing.

The Red Queen’s costume as well was masterfully terrible. Far too over-the-top, young kid princess type of costume. I almost expected her to turn into a little girl, or break out of character. That just does not look real, or like what a queen would wear. Where is all the money going for this series?

Okay, so Will was in Storybrooke when the Rabbit came for him. He then travels to England to convince Alice that her thought to be lost love Cyrus is alive and that she’ll be able to find him in Wonderland. My question is, did he go through a time warp to England? Not only were they dressed in older garb, they were still practicing, or at least beginning to practice, the lobotomy. How is that anywhere near present day? Do they plan on explaining this? Will is in modern clothes, Alice is not. Is this just bad writing, or what?

One more thing, did anyone else feel bad for the rabbit? He seemed all guilty about betraying a friend, and I felt bad for him, with his ears hanging so low. That will obviously come out in the opening eventually, but I wonder why he would be so cowardly.

Also, I really wish Sebastian Stan was available to play the Mad Hatter, on this or the mother ship… It’s a pity he’s not.

My rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“You should know, nothing’s impossible in Wonderland.” – Will replies to Alice’s belief in the impossibility of Cyrus being alive.

“I hear there’s a procedure for that.” – Alice remarks at the doctor, who is seeing the White Rabbit.

“Particularly when said face meets this branch. Repeatedly.” – Alice says to Will, referring to the Red Queen.

That’s all for tonight folks. I’ll get The Vampire Diaries and Grey’s Anatomy reviews out to you all tomorrow, but for tonight I’m done. It’s off to bed I go. (The Snow White ‘Hi ho’ is now running around in my brain.)