American Horror Story: Coven 3.02 Review: What's So Great About Eternal Life?

For any that have yet to watch last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, entitled ‘Boy Parts’, I suggest you do so now, or exit this screen immediately. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

Well, this week’s episode was better than last week, but there still wasn’t much horror to it. Plus, a lot of the storylines are way out there, and all over the place. There’s way too many things going on at once, and it’s just distracting to try and keep track of all of it. If the things all weaved together, I’d give some leeway to them, but there’s really still too much going on.

This week I really enjoyed Lily Rabe’s character, Misty Day. I’m extremely happy she’s not dead, despite being burnt alive. The way she was dressed, and her hair were both fantastic for the character. I absolutely adored her scenes with Taissa Farmiga’s Zoe. It was incredibly sad how much she wanted someone like her around, and that vulnerability came across quite well on screen. I definitely want more of Zoe and Misty in scenes. Also, my favourite moment may have been Misty singing along to Stevie Nixx. That was an amazingly beautiful scene.

Other than her scenes with Misty, the character of Zoe is a little too weak and sniveling. Plus, the black widow power, kind of stupid. But about how weak she is, it’s boring to watch. I don’t want to follow a weepy little blabbermouth like her around, but I absolutely love Taissa Farmiga in this series, so I have a conundrum. Can the writers please give the girl better material to work with?

About the technical stuff in this series, the music for the opening titles is scarier than the actual titles. The first two seasons – despite the second season not being scary – at least had horrifying title sequences. That and the terrible cinematography this season, sometimes it’s completely disorienting, with the upside down shots, and then other times it’s too close-up. In the scene where Madison and Zoe are trying to resurrect Kyle, the scene would’ve been well put together if the camera people had just backed up about a foot or two. So, when splicing the material together, try not to make it so damned difficult to watch. Sure, the last two seasons, scenes would just show up, like bam I’m here, but it’s like they’re purposely trying to distract us from scenes and make us nauseous to watch this series this season. I can’t say any stronger how much I can’t stand it. Sure, it was a bit better than last week, but not nearly as well done as the previous seasons. There’s ten episodes left, get your act together.

Surprisingly, I find myself liking how Emma Roberts plays her character Madison. She seems to be able to play spoiled rich girl quite well, and she’s dangerous to boot. And then Kyle seemed closer to crazy Tate than last week. Maybe it was the hair; it looked a lot like the crazy blonde Tate had. But I seriously hope he doesn’t actually spend six episodes devoid of speech. There are only twelve episodes in a season, and he spoke the first episode, that leaves five more episodes of not talking. Maybe one more would work, but five’s pushing it beyond the realm of intriguing acting techniques.

There are many questions I still have about this series. What was the necessity of throwing Cordelia’s desire to have a child into the mix of an already clogged season of storylines? After about one hundred and eighty years, why didn’t Marie Laveau have more money to show for it? Did Lily Rabe look pregnant to anyone else during the opening scene where she resurrects the crocodiles? Could Zoe be the next Supreme? Wasn’t Queenie’s ancestor the slave that was accused of witchcraft? Wouldn’t that make her a Voodoo witch if that was the same person Laveau was speaking of? And why didn’t the spell call Misty to Madison? Was it just because Zoe was still in the vicinity of where the spell was enacted, or is it because she is the Supreme?

Well, American Horror Story: Coven, you’ve done a smidge better this week, but please work harder next week. Cut the disorienting cinematography, tighten the storylines, and let Kyle speak soon. Those are my suggestions; I implore you to adhere to them.

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“In this whole wide wicked world, the only thing you have to be afraid of, is me.” – Fiona tells Madison and Zoe.

“I’m sorry for your loss. You want a bite?” – Fiona asks Madame Lalaurie.

“Did we just marry the devil? Because I don’t know if I’m down with that?” – Zoe questions Madison, while they perform the resurrection spell.

“Well, that was a bust.” – Madison remarks after the spell doesn’t work.

“She had the face of a damn hippo.” – Madame Lalaurie remembers her long deceased daughter.

All right, folks, that’s all for tonight. I’ll catch you all tomorrow for reviews of The Crazy Ones, The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, and Grey’s Anatomy. And hopefully my fifth edition of Best Performances of the Week.

Revenge 3.02 Review: Sometimes it's Best to Forgive

Anyone that hasn’t watched last night’s episode of Revenge, entitled ‘Sin’, should go do so now, otherwise this blog may spoil the contents. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

I’m going to keep this review brief, as it’s five in the morning, and I’m exhausted. So, I’m going to just hit the highlights, and go from there.

Quite possibly my favourite character in this episode was Charlotte. Christa B. Allen has grown so much just in the evidence of the last two episodes. As a strong, young woman, she is appearing very empowered, and much deeper than the whiny brat of the last two seasons. I very much approve of this strong willed, quite better dress young woman. And just her confession that her guilt for Declan’s death is what she believes caused her miscarriage was rather breathtaking in execution.

For the first time in Revenge, I honestly felt bad for the gentleman being taken down in this episode. By all accounts, he appears to have tried to make as deep amends for his actions as he can, and when Emily struck him over the head I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. I so strongly wished she’d been able to detract her revenge scheme in time, but it was too late. I’m just glad she, though too late, felt that this red X was wrongfully enacted, and I look forward to her attempts to exonerate the man in future episodes, because I honestly liked this character.

The way they’re writing Jack this season, I’m not sure I’m happy about. I don’t really like how he’s reacted to finding out he did not marry his childhood sweetheart, and that she’s actually this revenge-seeking woman. It doesn’t feel genuine, it feels like his emotions keep getting tossed from one end of the spectrum to the other, as if he’s a hormonal woman. To me, it doesn’t feel like the writing is doing a good job of keeping Jack around in this series. I mean, what’s the point of keeping him here, if this is all he’s doing? I do hope he has more scenes with Charlotte, because those were good, but otherwise, he needs better development.

Patrick this episode was a little strange. I understood, but didn’t like the way he closed the door on Emily. I’m sure his mother has imparted her dislikes of the woman on him, but that’s a woman who tried to give him hush money to stay away. Why would he honestly take her opinion of people to heart? Also, what is with the incestuous vibes she often gives off to him? That relationship doesn’t seem like it’s going to end well, they’ve got a rather strange connection. It makes for interesting television, but it’s odd nonetheless. I did, however, like the dinner table exchange between them where he gets up to leave, and she puts shame on her family for their shortcomings toward Patrick.

One thing I really didn’t like about this episode was the way they’re writing Aiden, even more so than the way they’re writing Jack. I know the showrunner bumped him up to a regular last season, but there’s really no necessity in having him around. This is really just away to keep the actor, when it’s not at all genuine to the story, or the characters. Especially when the way he left last season gave me the impression he desperately wanted to get to Emily, not back at her. Remember Aiden, you’re the one that killed her mentor, and she’s not too handy with forgiveness.

Otherwise, the momentum of the episode wasn’t bad, as usual Nolan was awesome, I just almost wish there was a little more of him, and a little less Victoria. Please get rid of this Aiden scheme and I’ll be happy, as well as giving Jack an actual storyline. I really liked the guy in the first season, and as a fan of Roswell, I don’t want the actor gone.

My rating: 7 out of 10.

I’m off to bed now, to continue rereading the first Harry Potter book. Tune in tomorrow for reviews of Bones, How I Met Your Mother, Sleepy Hollow, and The Blacklist, not necessarily in that order.

Once Upon A Time 3.02 Review: Abandonment Issues

If any of you have yet to watch the episode of Once Upon A Time that aired last night, entitled ‘Lost Girl’, then now would be the time to do so. As always, below may include spoilers pertaining to the aforementioned episode. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

Not a bad episode, compared to last week’s premiere. I’m not too fond of the scenes that don’t focus on the characters I most like and most believe are deserving of onscreen time, but I got through most of the scenes otherwise. Could be because I tend to be a selfish person, and I want what I want, but I really wished there’d been more Emma. I know the episode had a lot of focal points surrounding her, but I still really want another Emma focused episode soon, with some more scenes to enlighten us on her life before Storybrooke. Although, I’m not really too sure how much there is, other than the whole giving up of her son, and kind of how she came to that decision, even though that’s been implied to be because Neal abandoned her.

Unsurprisingly, my favourite scenes from this episode were anything between Emma and Hook, and Emma and Pan. Just the subtle chemistry interspersed between Hook and Emma gets me incredibly excited, particularly because when dealing with a series based around fairytale characters that have their one true loves, love triangles aren’t a big thing. I know there’s the whole thing with Mulan liking Philip, but he so obviously loves Aurora – who is a terrible actor, by the way – so her feelings are pretty much moot. But these feelings between Hook and Emma, and Emma and Neal are kind of love triangle territory, which a lot of people don’t like, but the series isn’t based around it, like The Vampire Diaries, so there’s the ability for a ripe amount of stories. People have made a valid point about Neal being Emma’s first love, and that he really didn’t try to find her after he learned the spell had broken, but there are still feelings there despite this.

Once again I’m going to commend Robbie Kay for his rendition of Pan. His scenes with Emma were also really one of my favourites, because he is just a terrific actor. The boy acts circles around the rest of the cast. I may be reading too much into things, but I caught vibes of him being attracted to Emma. Though, that could also be due to his weird fetish of collecting lost children, and Emma still very much feels like that lost girl that was orphaned, as verified by the title of the episode. Either way, I would still very much like more scenes between the two, because they play off each other rather well.

The other acting I need to praise for this episode is Jennifer Morrison’s. Her performance as Emma in this episode was very good. She seems to be one of the stronger actors in this series. Sometimes her acting can fall short, but I didn’t see that here. I particularly liked her rather dry speaking while she stared at the blank parchment with her hands on either side of her face. She’s extremely good at playing the hardened, tough girl character, and I really like getting to see that side of her. Damaged characters are a favourite of mine.

As always, Colin O’Donoghue was wonderful as Hook. Is it weird that two of my favourite characters in this series are both played by British actors with their natural accents, or do the Brits just tend to have better actors? Either way, I adore this man, I’m so glad he’s one of the series regulars. I wasn’t so gung ho when he was first bumped up last season after a short period of time, but every time he isn’t all about his hatred of Rumplestiltskin, the man is a wonderful actor. Maybe it has something to do with his sardonic sense of humour…

Wouldn’t it be awesome if, by the time they all got to Henry, that he was so different, another actor had to play him? Maybe that’s just hopeful thinking, but the actor that plays him is unbelievably terrible. He was okay in the pilot, but afterwards, going through a growth spurt, he just got so much worse. If only he could just be killed off. I was honestly just so glad he wasn’t in this episode. He’s not bad when he’s just acting normal, but whenever he has to play some form of heightened emotion, he’s genuinely awful. And that really is any heightened emotion.

While hair extensions don’t always look good and realistic, and the costumes for the characters in present day time aren’t that great, this series does always seem to dress the Queen in gorgeous costumes in the Fairytaleland That Was. Okay, Snow White usually has pretty cool costumes too, but it’s the Queen’s that takes the cake.

I’m just going to ask, what was it with Rumplestiltskin this week? Just so they can throw Belle in (who for some reason has an Australian accent when a) she’s supposed to be French, and b) none of her kingdom has the same accent) they have Rumplestiltskin imagine her up to work through his problems. I mean, really, what was the point of that? Just to have Belle kicking around, make sure we know she hasn’t gone anywhere? She didn’t really add anything to the scene, because I was just struggling to figure out whether she was actually there half the time. The only interesting thing he did was cut off his shadow. But what was it with bringing the dagger? You know it can kill you, so why bring it with you? Does it have to come with you? Is there some rule that it has to be in the same realm as you? I just don’t know.

I have to say I was pretty bored with the Charming and Snow White scenes, they didn’t really add much that hadn’t been seen before. It also didn’t seem that necessary to randomly bring Giancarlo Esposito into this episode for that exchange between him and the Queen, when he’s so much better over on Revolution, where the writing is actually good. The whole Excalibur thing had me confused there for a minute, but then it turned out to be fake, but what was the whole deal with having it in the opening title when it wasn’t even there?

My rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Best Lines:

This exchange: “Don’t hold your breath.” – Regina. “What’s that supposed to mean?” – Emma.

“I’m winning you over, I can feel it.” – Hook, referring to Charming.

“You said it, not me.” – Grumpy to Charming, the best part being the way he said it to him.

Okay, I’m going to take a little break, and then go and watch Revenge. Check back in a little over an hour for that.

New Girl 3.02 Review: Cats and Broken Hearts

As usual I’d like to take this time to ask anyone that has yet to watch tonight’s episode of New Girl, titled ‘Jacooz’, that wishes to do so spoiler free, to please divert your eyes now. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Proceed at your own caution.

I’m going to keep this review short and sweet because I don’t think there’s all that much I have to say about this episode.

The first ten minutes of the episode were a tad tedious. I didn’t really care about Jess’s storyline, for the most part, or the whole Nick thing along those lines. Except for the scenes with the principal, it wasn’t all that great.

Schmidt’s dilemma in this episode about the office party was okay at some points, but not great. I did like his interactions with Eva Amurri’s character Beth, and he did have some interesting one-liners, and Schmidt characteristics that were funny, but not the funniest thing about this show.

The highlight of the episode, much like last weeks, was definitely Winston. I know some like to believe he has become a bit of the butt of the joke, but his storylines are the funniest. I loved all his interactions with the cat that couldn’t stop purring, and he is most definitely the reason I’m still interested in watching this show. I hope that he keeps on being the funniest character in this series.

To be honest, this series isn’t as well developed as it could be. Speaking as someone that loves the series Friends, that show was capable of being funny, but at the same time progressing the characters. I don’t find, for the most part, that this series is able to do that. Aside from certain characters dating each other, there hasn’t been all that much change from the first episode, except that all these people’s lives have integrated together. It’s almost like with the Simpsons, where none of the characters age.

My rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Best Lines:

“Why are you talking like a James Taylor song?” – Jess to Nick in the bathroom.

“I’ll kill her cat.” – Winston, thinking the best revenge for a broken heart, is to kill the woman’s cat.

“Uhh, don’t get attached.” – Winston telling Jess not to get too emotionally involved with the cat.

That’s all for now, I’m off to watch and then review Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Then it’s Trophy Wife, with a follow up of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.