Anyone that has yet to watch the
season premiere of American Horror Story:
Coven, titled ‘Bitchcraft’, then I suggest you do so now. As always, this
is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW
MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! That includes spoilers from previous seasons, as this
is an anthology series. You’ve been warned.
Okay, I have to say I am sorely
disappointed in this season premiere. Sure it was better than last season, but
last season was terrible, and it in no way touched the series premiere in any
way. After all the build up and excitement I felt going into this season, I
honestly need to start lowering my expectations with this show. The problem is,
the promos are always so great and so creepy, but the show almost always falls
flat, and this episode definitely did.
The cinematography was TERRIBLE in
this episode – so terrible, all caps was absolutely necessary to express just
how bad it was. Honestly, what was the need for so many convex images? That
just made it TERRIBLE! And, was it absolutely necessary to keep slanting the
camera so I kept feeling like the actors should be sliding around? Whomever
shot this episode needs to be fired and kept away from a camera for the rest of
their lives, that’s how bad this episode was. It wasn’t artsy, it wasn’t fresh,
it wasn’t modern, it was just plain bad. Stay away from the camera Mr. Alfonso
Gomez-Rejon, you’re a terrible director.
My other problem with this episode
was how much time they focused on Kathy Bates’ character Madame Delphine
Lalaurie. Five whole minutes at the beginning of the episode? That’s how you
think this season should be introduced to viewers’ eyes? Two minutes, tops,
that’s all that was needed, the rest was simply unnecessary.
Another thing, this is called American Horror Story with the subtitle Coven, there should be something scary to the episode. There’s
only twelve episodes to a season, don’t go wasting your time away on needless
issues. Where’s the great horror from the first season? I miss that. I miss
crazy, psychotic Tate, and the Harmon’s. I miss Constance, and I desperately
want to know what happened to the devil child. At least last season got tied
up, what was necessary about leaving open storylines for the first season? But
my point is, this season needs more horror, especially since last season wasn’t
scary at all, other than how incredibly scarring it was. By scary, I mean
ghosts, and bumps in the night. Stuff most people have nightmares about (I say
most because I’m not one of those, I just like those scares). If I’d known
there wasn’t going to be anything creepy about this episode, I would’ve left
the light on so I could write my notes easier.
And one more thing, those opening
titles they weren’t good. At least season two had a creepy title sequence,
though not quite as good as the first seasons, but this season nothing. I kept
thinking the hooded people were from the KKK, with the pointed hoods. But I
suppose they’d rather be dead than caught wearing black. Still, that was
distracting. You have more time than a regular full season series to get the
ball rolling for twelve episodes of fun, be more creative.
Now in relation to characters. Emma
Roberts did surprisingly well in her role as the fallen movie star witch. Both
Gabourey Sidibe and Jamie Brewer were good in their respective roles. Jessica
Lange wasn’t bad either, but nowhere near as great as she was as Constance.
Now, Frances Conroy? I would’ve expected more from her. She felt like she was
merely doing an impression, rather than embodying the character she was
supposed to be. Lily Rabe was a little blah, compared to her previous two roles
in this series, as was Sarah Paulson’s meek Cordelia. Angela Basset was great
in her brief role as Marie Laveau, I just hope she’s more affluent in this
season. I was expecting more of Evan Peters, I was under the impression he was
going to be encompassing a role closer to Tate than last season’s Kit. Although
his chemistry with Taissa Farmiga is palpable, he didn’t seem real in the scene
on the frat bus. And then there’s Taissa herself. While Violet was a bit of a
downer, the realistic perspective she had on life in weird shades was
wonderful, as was her relationship with Tate. But she just didn’t seem to have
enough of an edge in this episode, and what the hell was up with her killing
her boyfriend because she had sex with him? Why would that be a witch’s power?
I desperately hope this season
gets better. It’s already better than last season, but last season was awful.
The woman in me that always picks favourites desperately wanted Zoe to be the
Supreme, but I wonder if she could even be if Fiona is still alive. Still, I
hope she somehow turns out to be the
next one, though I doubt it will happen.
My one final question before I go
is, how in the hell is Lalaurie alive? And why would she go up against Fiona?
(So I guess that’s not one question, but they’re along the same lines as each
other.) I just find it ridiculous she was seen dying by Marie Laveau’s hand,
and then ends up still alive after being dug up. What the hell is that all
about? I know Kathy Bates is a good actress (although I much prefer her
Southern role in Titanic), but that
doesn’t justify illogical prolonged life. But I suppose I should wait for the
answer before I complain.
Oh, and really? You use Grey Damon
merely so he can rape a witch, she can try and kill all the people who gang
raped her (and one innocent victim), and he can be killed by Zoe? He’s a better
actor than that, at least use him in a role that counts. I liked him on The Nine Lives of Chloe King… although I
loved Alec more.
My rating: 6 out of 10.
Best Lines:
“Like my cousin Amanda, she’s just bulimic.” – Zoe
explaining that the witch gene doesn’t hit every female in a family.
“The light hit him just fine.” – Madison explaining how she
killed her agent.
“Don’t make me drop a house on you.” – Fiona weakly
threatens her daughter, after she’s mentioned she’s tempted to change the
locks.
Okay, I’m off to watch The
Crazy Ones to get this negativity out of my system. Then I’ll at least get
one or two more in.
No comments:
Post a Comment