American Horror Story: Coven 3.09 Review: Witch Hunters

Anyone that has yet to watch Wednesday night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, entitled ‘Head’, then you’re taking longer to watch it than I am to review it, I suggest you do that now. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

So, three episodes left until the season finale, in which this series of characters wrap themselves up. With that in mind, I’m not sure the progression of this story is being done quite as well as the first season was. This whole dedicating flashbacks to Hank business this week was a tad boring, and wasn’t really necessary to complete his story. So, basically there’s an entire company dedicated to taking witch-kind down, and yet they supposedly have very few left? It seems a little ludicrous to me. Also, the fact that Hank was merely “placed” in the coven as eyes, when it was made to look like he took the initiative to get into bed with Marie Laveau in order to take these witches down. Sloppy writing right there if you ask me.

Basically, what I found is that this week’s episode was terribly slow. We were back to horribly done camera angles. I’m sorry, it’s not artsy, it’s nauseating; please stop it so I can enjoy this program. They go through all of this struggle with Kyle and stuff, only to have Fiona swoop in and fix him to the best of her abilities. And yet, he’s still not fully there; he’s just around as an attack dog. I have to say, of all the characters this season, I’m most disappointed with Kyle. I’d thought by now he’d at least be mostly back to who he was, but now he’s apparently just their attack dog? What? It made sense that he’d kill his mother, but that other dog? Also, what was this whole business of having the council members cut up? I’d understand Myrtle’s desire for revenge, but that seemed a bit over the top if you ask me.

All in all, while I was happy to have Cordelia get her sight back, as well as watching Marie Laveau go crawling to the witches, I’m not sure this season is shaping up to be anywhere near as good as I’d hoped it would be. The villains of the season seem pretty pathetic when you look at it, and it appears as if there is no overarching story developing at all this season. This really is a mess of a season, and I don’t see how it thinks it could get any better. That’s two disappointing seasons in a row; if next year isn’t better, I’ll probably be done.  The writing is just nowhere near as tight and well-developed as it really should be, and it makes me incredibly disappointed in the showrunner for this season. Sure, that song was beautiful at the end, but about half of each episode could be cut out and it would still be enjoyable. It’s dissatisfying.

My rating: 6.5 out of 10 (and that .5 is merely for the last five minutes).

Best Lines:

“No, bitch, she’s clairvoyant.” – Madison states.

“You’re one stubborn old lady head, you know?” – Queenie remarks.

Okay, my apologies for the lateness of this, but I’ve just had a long couple of days. I have a few more reviews to catch up on, but probably won’t get to those tonight. Maybe The Crazy Ones, but I’m not sure yet. So check back later to see.

American Horror Story: Coven 3.08 Review: Working Together

Anyone that has yet to watch last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, titled ‘The Sacred Taking’, that is what I suggest you go and do now, before proceeding ahead. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

There are so many sides to this series this season, it’s almost difficult to keep track. You’ve got the witches that everyone is – or at least I am – rooting for, then you’ve got the voodoo side where I only really like Marie Laveau, and then there’s Cordelia’s husband who is a witch hunter. Okay, so there are only three sides, but there are a lot of characters that go back and forth between them all. One of which is the witch/voodoo crossover kind of character Queenie. She’s one character I really can’t stand this season, a) because she’s grotesquely large, b) because she’s so damned whiny, and c) because she’s this selfish, oh woe is me kind of character that thinks she deserves more than everyone else – those kinds of characters really piss me off.

This episode, for the most part, really worked for me this week. We finally got to see most of our witch characters (including Misty Day) work together for once. I really enjoyed seeing the coven work together to bring Fiona down, and I’m very much looking forward to seeing all of them work together against the Voodoo priestesses. And I’m especially glad Fiona didn’t go all raging Supreme on them all for trying to take her down.

All in all, aside from a few choice cinematographic shots, this was a very well done, well-written episode. Despite how much I don’t like Queenie, I still really enjoyed the opening scene, and the storytelling that it brought with it. Seeing Kyle’s face light up with amazement when Zoe covered his ears with the headphones was beautiful, as well as when he managed to tell her he loved her, which also brought wonderful storytelling with it as Madison listened in, in tears. This episode had a great use of red, as Madison wore that colour dress to facilitate Fiona’s killing herself. Such a shocking use of the colour against the mostly black and white of that scene. This episode really had a lot going for it, despite it, or this season, living up to the Horror in its title.

My rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“Maybe it’s a good thing you’re blind as a butter knife.” – Myrtle Snow relates to Cordelia.

“God knows it’s not getting any action from you, grandma.” – Madison remarks, regarding Fiona’s bed.

“I’m going to bring marshmallows and graham crackers to make smores.” – Madison explains what she’ll do when they bring Fiona to be burned for her crimes of killing another witch.

My apologies for not posting this yesterday, but here it is now. I’m off to watch The Vampire Diaries now, and afterwards Once Upon A Time in Wonderland, Grey’s Anatomy, and The Crazy Ones. Stay tuned.